Look at us, but do not touch

I'm sorry if I keep on writing about the same things lately, but one last note on Primal Scream. Their cover of Some Velvet Morning really does something to me...now a lot of people think they butchered this classic Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood duet, but honestly I don't think of it or compare it to the original at all. It sounds completely different, and I'm really addicted to it. Lots of energy, sensual ism, sexiness, and mystery to it. The electronics in it are incredibly infectious, and all I think of is being at some high fashion runway show in Paris because of it. I think it would fit really well as a runway soundtrack. Anyways, I'm using this to segway into a fashion talk once again. Since Kate Moss duets on this track and of course is in the video, fashion needs to be mentioned here. The video is really trendy cool, and my pop culture side really enjoys it, a total guilty pleasure. Primal Scream is kind of an odd band, they sound really different on each album and have changed their sound throughout the years, but their recent stuff is mostly electronic/high energy I've found. Bobby Gillespie is pretty hot (lead of PS), and has been through the music circuit for a while (he drummed for the jesus and mary chain during Psychocandy, etc.). Anyways, the other day I went to Barnes and Noble and splurged on some imported Fashion/Art Mags from England and it looks like the early 1990s look is gaining major headway. The whole shoegaze, psychedelia look seems to be especially popular overseas, and I suspect in NY, LA, and SF as well, (but i can't be sure of it since i don't live in these cities at the moment, but I have a strong suspicion that there's a group of kids sporting these looks in these areas). With the advent of american apparel and urban outfitters this trend is mass market. I mean i like it, but it's eh, way trendy. Anyways when you see major 'indie' trends like this with scenesters it's usually due to a band or some other pop culture icon. I think we're always going backward to those monumental times in music to take their clothes and re make them for today. Just look at american apparel and urban outfitters, all those clothes are reminiscent of late 80s and 90s style. An over sized day glo shirt is no longer a faux pas my friends, it's very sheik apparently. I don't know maybe it's not, but I find more and more of the mainstream turning this way too, it's sort of cool but mass produced again. I saw these thirteen year old boys walking downtown the other day with these bright purple crazy day glo colors and some bright kicks to match. Also, forever 21 is BIG on this trend, which is why Rebecca and I decided to name a certain section there the early 90s section since it's very apparent. I'm sure this is nothing you haven't already known, I'm just reflecting on this. Trends come and go, as well as the bands that work this trend, they have that one hit with their matching styles and the next day their gone. I'm really curious to see what's going to happen next, what era will we see again? As for my own personal style, I may buy one or two items at the stores I've mentioned but I'm not going to buy their 'outfit.' I just do what I do like many of you stylish people, buy and wear what you like - don't listen to me or anyone else, and if you don't really care about fashion, well that's cool too. Other than that, primal scream, Egon Schiele, and Bosch are major players in my evolution of dressing lately...this is the beauty of a new day, it equals a new look, have fun.

Moon child sonic sister

This is weird, I've been really into Primal Scream lately and I found this song on youtube today. Not only is it amazing, but it mentions a sonic sister in this song. Now the weird thing about it is that i've used that name for many many things, (usernames, aka names, etc.), it's like it was meant to be. I'm the sonic sister, i wouldn't mind being any of the things he mentions in the song, except for maybe the looking so dead part, but other than that it's lovely...love love love. My theme song baby.

She's a star fruit surf rider flower groove
Switchblade motorcycle baby blue
She is love love love, love love love
Shes a moon child sonic sister pleasure head
Treasure lips of crimson well looking so dead
She is love love love, love love love

She's taking me away, I'm gonna go forever
Sugar ditch, honey hips, crimson lips of pleasure
The only one I want, she does just what she wants
And she is love love love, love love love

Is it true? Do I have my own philosopher?

Yesterday, I was walking to my car after finishing up my astronomy class at Cuesta and there was this little folded up piece of paper securely put under my windowshield. I kind of didn't notice it at first, but then after a quick double take I picked it up. A small piece of notebook paper folded up, and inside in a quite nice blue script was "Hi Chelsea." After reading it, I looked around the parking lot, and found myself to be a bit puzzeled. That's all it said, no mention of the writer or anything. Too bad, I'm not so good at recognizing text, only with certain people but the way this was written could have belonged to male or female. I was kinda happy and weirded out at the same time as i got into my car to drive home. It seems I have an admirer of some sort...or a really creepy stalker (and I wouldn't be too suprised, as I tend to attract them for some reason). Could this person be wanting me to rack my brain to this? Yes, I know my car and I are really recognizable but I don't think I really know too many people attending cuesta this semester, and plus they would totally sign their name! Anyways, since I've been reading Sophie's World for my philosophy class I'm beginning to wonder if I too, have my own philosopher somewhere trying to send me these kinds of things to help me get a broader perspective. who knows? but other than that, kinda creepy but to whoever sent the hello, well 'hello' right back to ya! To be continued.....

It was 2006 and I really loved fashion

I was in my garage a few hours ago and found some papers with this stuff below written on them (they were inside an old Britex shopping bag from my SF fashion excursion days). These papers were from an old summer program at my future art school...It's funny to look back and see my opinions on fashion...not too much has changed.

I love bloomers
Hate Bergdorf Goodman - meaning the suits and silky things looks too rich old lady
I love chiffon and lace
Love deep purples, greens
Love sheer fabrics, trimmings
I love ruffles - but not too much
Love Karl Lagerfeld
I love round toe pumps - patent leather
I like horoscopes and symbols
I hate reptile looking boots and patterns
I love flat no heel boots
I like Sofia Coppola
I love Edwardian/Victorian items
I like hand knit items
I like big beads and feminine blouses
colors i like - light pinks
I like crushed velvets - sixties playboy jackets
I like rosettes
I like Marc Jacobs eclectic mixes
I like ribbons and bow ties
I like Tea Party dresses
I like metallic fabrics
shapes, triangles, jagged edges
I hate Moo Moos

LIKES
Candy stripes
tailored suits

big hair
polka dots
seersucker

Marc Jacobs

mermaind silhouettes
sequins
ladlike gloves
pirates
sailors, nautical but not nautica
old, vintage, traditional
Japan - Fruits, EGL's
Kewpie dolls
Historical clothing
Reds
Steinbeck

DISLIKES

army/military outfits

big furs

fur hats

generic western

sportsy, spandex type things

sporty sneakers

Biker wear (too much of it)

I Fall Apart

So beautiful. This guy was great, I don't know but something about the way this song sounds and the lyrics really shall i say 'speak' to me....youtube this dude, he was truly a fantastic musician.

Reflections

April 20, 2008

Nowadays I always have
to have a guy around my arm
Something sweet too, photographed
to show the world I'm not alone
These were from the past, the
parts where life meant so much
more - And after you had gone
I got sad and felt like the rest of
My life is seemingly quick swatches
and blurs - semi parts like deja-vu
A snapshot every second as if I've
never actually live it -Why did you
turn me this way? You've taken
a huge part of me and thrown it
away unlike your beer bottles
you keep sacred.
-------------------------------------
I look back on this journal entry above (I was newly 20) and I can't understand a lot of things I did. What does hold true is this feeling, this emptying feeling of a life I feel like I'm not living. It's very out of body, or like a reel. I can't really explain it, it has nothing to do with that relationship, except for the fact that I started feeling this way after it ended. It's not painful, it's just weird. It's like I'm living my life but at the same time I feel like it's a flashing screen, where time is moving incredibly fast and the moments I cannot savor, they're just splotches of the present and they go on and on. I'll try and get back to this...more self reflection needs to be done.

Style Slump

I've noticed in these past couple of months that I've begun to lose my inspiration, or rather I'm out of ideas when it comes towards creating/evolving my personal style. I'm not sure, but it may have to do with the fact that my clothes aren't really reflecting a cohesive thing. When I look into my closet I see a spectrum of eras, looks, fads, colors, textures, patterns of all kinds. It's beginning to remind me of a costume/thrift store. I remember way back when I was about 15 or 16 and I devoted most of my dressing to the 1960s mod look. I had the haircut, the eyeliner, the mini dresses and white and black mary jane patent leather shoes. I got the whole thing down, it was consistent. And then I started to just do the entire vintage thing...one day it would be 1950s, the next 1920s, and so on, it just depended upon my mood. I feel like I was a much better dresser in high school than I am today. I think I'm just so clouded by so many decades and inspirations that I just don't know what the hell to put on. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I focused on one area of fashion, or one decade/or one item that I truly loved back then, (for example I had this great mod white coat that was my staple in my wardrobe). I've just grown and evolved too fast maybe? You know, in fashion everything is pretty much recycled throughout the ages, nothing is really 'new' it's just recreated to become modern, at least that's what i think. Yet, as I continue to look into my closet I'm starting to wonder exactly what it reflects about me. If a complete stranger walked into my room and opened up my closet what would they think about me? What kind of person would they think I am? Looking at my closet now, I would say that I look indecisive, eccentric, crazy, spontaneous, and maybe a bit of a pack rat. I don't know if I like all of these things about me, I don't know if I want to appear that way. Hell, I think the biggest saying my closet screams is "i don't know, that's why I have this just in case!" Meaning I've got just about every kind of look out there, and I'm not sure If i like that. Because truth be told, the closet is a great reflection of my life right now...a big "i don't know."

those ghost orbs have funny ways of predicting

I’m looking at a collection of pictures done during this glorious summer. A night spent at the point of the gigantic rock on the beach. We found ourselves safely enclosed in an estuary where we could look hidden from the cops and drink our beer and smoke our dope. We sat, and looked beyond to the town lights creating this haze over the sky. They brought bongos and a ukulele so we could try and make something out of our thoughts into sound. Then we decided to cross over this sandy bluff down nearer to the water. All of them piled onto a lifeguard tower, but for some reason I wasn’t able to grasp onto it, even though they offered help. I decided to go to the water and disappear from them for a while. There was a lot going on in my mind during that time, so much confusion about what I meant to you. I ran out near the water because I wanted you to come get me, to come and lay by me to look up at the sky and try to have some kind of philosophical conversation. But you didn’t come, you were too busy having fun with our new strangers and I don’t blame you. So I ran back and forth on the shore, getting my legs wet up to my knees, my jeans conforming to the skin. There was pain in my heart, but I got this great sense of liberation running alone and looking at the vastness of the Pacific Ocean. It was black with the sky and the sound of it making waves calmed me. I realized there, that we are all alone in this. No matter how much I wanted something, in the end, loneliness will prevail. I really understood the meaning of all you have is yourself. So I got worn out from running on the water and just laid there on the sand and tried to pull myself together. I was sad about everything and I could predict the outcome of this night, and it wasn’t going to go in my favor. They sent our friend to come and ‘rescue me,’ he was quite drunk and happy so I went to join up again with the rest of you. I still felt separate from everything the rest of that evening spent on the beach. I just wanted to sleep, yet the promise seemed possible. We played our music and the camera was there to document this moment of complete freedom. Youth slightly out of our minds, carefree in the night sky screaming and singing. Those ghost orbs fell hard. And we walked back holding hands, bittersweet conversation where the promise broke. I was tattered with sea salt and miscalculating. We drove, you sat behind me and brought your drunken hand to my neck, caressing my face and then we just held hands tightly for awhile until I let go.

a year of isolation

I guess it never really meant that much. Not being part of your words on lust and body parts. Maybe i'm the higher pedestal, wishful thinking, i'm probably the lesser thought. Something we did because we were bored.
"A simple prop to occupy my time" ~REM

Something I did to make me...

All Used Up

Confident and Clean
Losing me in a state of uneasiness
Brought about by big eyed creatures
Connected with veins to wires
And screens relentlessly trying
To destroy anything regarding
Beauty and youthful desires
Sexual satisfaction and freedom

We stood in the hallway
Eyes and arms protruding in a
Hypnotic fashion
Feeling each other for
Something that cannot be there
And will never be there
We are fighters connected on a string
Of outcomes that are always beyond
Our control

We found solstice in this equation
Realizing that the results would end up
Horribly wrong
You, being stuck to the actions of sex and liberty
I, being weighted by the feelings
automatic caring
memorable connections
the passion and saliva

One of my favorite poems

Untitled by Tony Scibella

excerpt:
..."i expect anybodys
that been together
for a while
fall into a semi-coma
and stay
and if nothing extraordinary happens
waking up somewhere
down the line
wondering what happened
to life
and the promise of love

and we were promised love
and happiness
that we were to attain
but no body explained how..."

I was 16 when I first read this, full of emotion and a strong yearning for both of those things: love and happiness. After 5 years, and admitting to briefly experiencing both and losing both intermittently at times i still find this poem to be one of my all time favorites. Something about it hits this very human nerve, it's something everyone can relate to it's a longing with no instruction book. what happened?

WIRE

Wow, where do i begin? It's been a while posting here, as I feel there isn't any prolific thoughts to be spread in the very public electronic world, many are written in books and journals close to my heart and only read by me. But, today another musical inspiration comes this way through the band WIRE> The first time I ever heard of them was on VH1 Classic when I was about 16, it was a video for their song 'Kidney Bingos,' needless to say, I was hooked. Also, quite coincidentally the 20 year old boy I was in love with at the time was totally into them as well, (and well, he's a whole other post to explain about). I revisited wire for a time when I was 19 (I would play "a bell is a cup until it is struck" all the time), my boyfriend at the time would make fun of me and would make fun of this band as I don't think he really appreciated the greatness (another sign that we weren't ever a good match). Today, Wire is even more powerful to me as I'm rediscovering a lot of their other songs I really never listened to. And man, the lyrics right now are mirroring my life and certain people I know. Thank you Wire for giving justification to life's entangled moments. Below is what I mean. I leave you with the song that made me love wire "kidney bingos."

Three Girl Rhumba
"a chance encounter
you want to avoid:
the inevitable.
so ya do,
oh yes ya do,
the impossible."

A Mutual Friend
"Hearing of your troubles
Has forced me to double
My interest in your current affairs...

Please don't turn a deaf ear to the noises you hear
While savagely your love you prune
For he might replace the old with the moon
He might replace the old with the moon"

Mannequin
"You're an energy void,
a black hole to avoid,
no style,
no heart,
you don't even start."

and there are many other great lyrics strewn across, but here's a glance, other songs like "i should have known better," "outdoor miner," and "silk skin paws" to name a few.