Saturday, December 12, 2009
I just finished watching "About a Son" a little film full of images and complete recordings of an interview Kurt Cobain did around '92, '93 with rock journalist Michael Azerrad. Besides being sad and unsettling, understanding the root of his troubles and sympathetic to his life, I came to the conclusion that some guys need a crazy, insane woman. When he started talking about how he had met Courtney Love, and how he made her feel, it kind of made sense. He saw himself as this weak individual who despised 99.9% of humanity, and maybe felt his own life was a bit boring. When Courtney showed up in his life, he said her insane urges and outlandish behavior brought some excitement into his life, and he liked that. I'm not going to say that I entirely know all about this relationship, but I know it wasn't a perfect relationship despite the fact that he may have been happy time to time with her. I think the drugs would've had a huge impact in the relationship as well, the ones who "inject together, stay together," i suppose until one od's or commits suicide. Anyways, I just don't get how some people crave this kind of unstable, unhealthy relationship. I suppose the excitement is a big factor, because it derives this love/hate passionate kind of thing. Something that I haven't experienced, and don't think I ever will, unless i too, meet a crazy drug fueled man who'll "build me up to just bring me down."
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
I have a confession to make, i used to have an Internet buddy. And no, it wasn't a Dateline To Catch a Predator Special with Chris Hansen unfortunately. I was about 13 when AIM was all the rage and chatting in chat rooms was freakin' cool. Well one of my friends got me into it, I was a little weirded out at first, but since i was in middle school and this kind of thing was 'cool,' I decided to give it a try. This is how I met my only Internet buddy i didn't ever know in real life...My aim name was "PrettyPunk" (haha), and I met "RebelAgnstAll" or also known as 'Dylan'-through a random chat room. Now, I'll never be sure that he was a 15 year old guy living in West Virginia with a penchant for good taste in music, but he seemed pretty legit to me. [God, he probably was a super lonely 30 year old guy with a beer belly,] Anyways, we started chatting, talking about punk rock and how much he loved the Psychedelic Furs and how he saw them with his dad in D.C.. He also loved the Pixies, and that's how I got hooked into that band. He recommended 'Trompe le Monde,' so I went out and bought it a few days later, and fell in love with that record. It was weird, it was the only time I ever dabbled with the idea of an 'Internet boyfriend'...I would fantasize how we would meet one day, and he'd be the coolest guy around and whatever else a young teenage girl dreams about. We would just talk about music and the things we liked, and how he would say he wished i went to school with him...I never got freaked out about anything, because it truly was innocent and i never lured him to my house with a heaping pitcher of iced tea just so Mr. Hansen could stroll on in and catch him, haha. It was just two young kids bonding over david bowie and Francis Black, and it was a really hopeful time for me, because i knew I could find someone, somewhere who shared my weird insecurities and love for music no one at my school had even heard of. Then as my middle school years ended, and computer failure happened, I just lost touch and that was pretty much the end of that. I wonder what Dylan is up to now? I will never know, but it was cool to have that one experience and I'm just glad it was legitimate and not uber scary like the things you hear on the news, just someone to bitch with and pass the agonizing years of adolescence with.