Humility

I had a shock to my system, a charge to my inner being. From the outside looking in. I am so thankful for gentle and caring individuals who practice those random acts of kindness, even on those who have acted out and do not necessarily deserve such care, like myself in that moment. Something so simple and so easy to do, yet I find myself hardly able to do it these days. I feel like this evening was a landmark moment in a personally spiritual/philosophical education, and I am truly grateful for that. I can not thank these strangers enough for their kind hearts. Everything can be changed in an instant. Knowing that your attitude is only controlled by yourself is an amazing gift. And I am now fully aware.

All those longings...

This song has been on repeat for the past hour now...it evokes something inside me that's very sacred...they couldn't have picked a better clip either to put it to...One of my favorite films, "L'Amant."

I will hold my torch up high for you.

Each and every day I am now learning something new, figuring out how things work and how they've worked in the past. I'm starting to understand certain things about myself and recognize those traits which used to be unknown to me. I truly am experiencing a growth period. There is so much going on in my head right now that it's very hard to pinpoint exactly what I would like to focus all my energies on. I'm almost afraid to pick as I do not know if that will be the right decision, which is why i'm almost in a state of flux, becoming flexible to how each day goes.
Some lovely friends of mine came to town, we spent a day going record shopping and doing a bit of thrifting. I found some pretty good 1980s gems. Purchases included: Prince's 'Controversy,' Tears for Fears 'the hurting,' Pet Shop Boys 'Please,' and U2's 'War.' The latter being a gift for a friend, but currently I am listening to it, and as much as whatever anyone wants to say about U2 good or bad, this album is pretty solid. I especially like the song '40.' I don't know I guess this band brings me back to childhood, I used to sing 'Sunday Bloody Sunday' out loud, never knowing what the song was actually about until I was about thirteen or so.

Story of the present.

Let's not make it into a big thing
Let's not get lost in this
I know it is, i know we could
I guess we surely would
Let's pretend it's not
It doesn't mean a thing

Let's not blow it out of all senses
As though it meant so much
It's always thought about for weeks
Not everytime your lips meet mine, i think of her
But when her hands reach out, i think of you

Why do I always fall?

"I'd take care of you if you asked me to."