Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
"Lift mine eyes from the earth and let me
Not forget the uses of the stars.
Forbid that I should judge others,
Lest I condemn myself.
Let me not follow the clamour of the world,
But walk quietly in my path.
Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am,
And keep ever burning before my vagrant steps
The kindly light of hope.
And, though I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams,
Teach me still to be thankful for life,
For time's olden memories that are good and sweet;
And may the evening's twilight find me gentle still."
Monday, August 2, 2010
I'm thinking, typing thinking. Thinking of you, thinking of wasted time, wasted youth, thinking of what lies ahead, thinking about not wasting it, thinking of a plan, thinking of a way out, thinking all the time. Why don't I just let go, let it go. I will go outside and sit but I can't help but think I'm wasting time. I want my inner dialogue to shut the fuck up, it's negative, and that's the root of the problem. I want to turn it off, and just sit and not think how it will all be gone one day and worry that I'm not living up to my potential, even as I sit here and type these words. I want to find happiness in the simplicity, not with illusions of grandeur. I want to believe that I am okay where I am, and not worry that I'm not doing enough. I want to accept my position and realize that it is all going to work itself out, I just have to believe in myself. And not let my mind take control of it in ways I do not want it to.