You are not

Story idea #1 (7.6.09)

You were unholy, you were not meant to be
who you thought you were
They tried to change you, and with mild success
you appeared with longer hair and darker clothes
And they'd project you on a million computer
screens in the hopes that she'd see you
But it was always a second too late, a flicker
of your face flashing by, but her eyes were
too focused on Sunday morning's paper, she sitting in the Cafe
Tiny signals of sound in her ipod, messages
trying to re-connect her back to you - but
she didn't listen.

Let's talk about Pil for a moment

For a brief period of my life I was a big Sex Pistols fan, I was 13 and just about beginning to explore 70s punk. I'm a little weird about this band now, it's a nostalgic thing and nothing more. But pil is a little more mysterious to me, Lydon's post pistols act. My dad was the one who was really into them, and I came across this cd "Flowers of Romance" probably when I was about 10, but never listened to it until about six months ago. My mom has a funny story about my dad and this band. She remembers being over at my dad's house when they were probably about only 19 or 20 and my dad had this PiL shirt on and I guess one of his parent's uber christian friends thought that the shirt stood for "praise the lord," haha...guess he couldn't see very well. Anyways, there's something about this album cover that really gets me, I'm loving it. This image of that girl, the wildness, I like. I want to transpose that and the music itself into something wearable. If you haven't listened to this album before I recommend it, I really like the track 'banging the door' so therefore I'm going to post it to give you a glimpse...

It still resonates

This is a call to all
these past recent
moments of being
young and fucked up
walking around in the
middle of the night
talking of new friendships
new love
new lives
Driving around and being
spontaneous
Or spending days
indoors
and blabbing away
The best is what we
are
the coolest fucking
females around the town.

You ladies know who you are, and I love you all.

Disconnected

Disconnected and it's going to feel good
No virtual firestrom of ignorance and jealousy
No waiting for green lights of
hope and pleasure filled into screens
No thoughts of outside spies trying
to take me on
Back to a basic, simple way
where if you wanna talk - you
just open up your mouth
and say what's on your mind
without rehearsal.

Off into the mouth of the desert
where everything will diminish and escape
bare bones, and tethered hearts
re examine their faults
and enjoy the scenery before
it all dissipates and life in routine
happens all over again.

Personal Renaissance

It's strange how people come in and out of your life in patterns, or how they come into your life and things happen and your life starts to change. Reasons that I cannot see, but feel inside. I feel a resurgence of old values tied together with new inspirations and directions. New teachings in philosophy and the simple concept of learning to just walk away, the idea of Taoism and 'Wu Wei' meaning "without action," one of the greatest philosophical ideas that should be learnt by all. We think too much and worry too much about things that are not central to the bigger idea of our existence. We get caught up in this virtual firestorm, forming drama out of nothing, trying to get revenge on people we do not know. All I know is the truth within me and life is made to be enjoyed, to feel pleasure, and happiness even if at times it seems to be temporary. In this moment I am fully enjoying it and the company of an old friend. It's beautiful. It is impermanent as life is, people come and go, but you will always have to rely on yourself. You have to be selfish, and you have to take, and this is something that he tells me I need to do.

My Summer Band

okay, just discovered a new band today by the name of Neon Indian. They fully seem to represent a lot of things that have been going on this summer for me and I'm just really loving all the beats and lyrics. "Deadbeat summer" is another great song by them, and that one is definitley going to be my summer song for 2009. I love that feeling of finding new music, it opens another facet in your brain to explore.
love love love