Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I wanted to write everything down. I stood around a while in the dim light, my husband only a few feet away. Once it kicked in, I started to feel disconnected and distant as I went down further and further into my soul. No one else was able to relate, and I couldn't tell if they were all against me or not paying attention. I felt uncomfortable and nauseated as if I was this rookie unfamiliar with the ways of the mushroom. I forget, I forget that it's a different experience for everyone. It destroyed and improved in waves. I went up and down. It took me on this extreme ride through all my insecurities and fears. I grew paranoid and sick of all the things that could happen, but really only could happen in an alternate universe. Then I would rise and sit in there every hour or so. I looked in the mirror and admired my face and thought of how much I loved myself. I sat back down and looked at my hands vibrating. I smiled and knew what my purpose was if there were no such restrictions. Life giver, aching mother. I walked out of it, thinking of the conspiracies that weren't taking place. Then I just wanted to love him and hug him all night long. Alone, in a room, on a bed, in the dark.
Pet Shop Boys, where do I begin? I'm partial to this classic 80s group due to the fact that every song I've heard is just plain good. If you just wanna dance, this is always a fantastic standby. Fabulous men doing fabulous electronics. A few years ago I caught a live performance montage of all their hits at the Brit awards via television. Sure, they're older and maybe not as hip of a band like they were in the 80s, but I think they did an amazing job here, (minus Lady Gaga, who will never replace the lungs of the late Dusty Springfield on 'What Have I Done to Deserve This").
Saturday, August 27, 2011
SO much style inspiration from Depeche Mode 101, a documentary filmed in 1988 during their music for the masses tour. If you have nothing better to do tonight, then get comfortable, turn off your bedroom lights, burn some candles, dress in black and watch parts 1 and 2 of this fabulous documentary courtesy of youtube. What a gem.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Your future together.
Buy me some time
Because I need it.
I don’t want us to disappear
I want to see you forever
Meld me into one
Let’s be smoke
Let’s rise above everything and everyone
You’re a blur, a slide on my finger
Fuzzy days go on and on
I need to be in your arms all the time .
You saved my life
I want to lay around next to you
Until we can’t breathe anymore
But we will be beyond breathing
We will be beyond skin
Out of touchable things
Where sound isn’t sound
It’s a place beyond us, it rises and sinks and engulfs everything within me, it’s real.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
As I've learned before, nostalgia is a form of depression. I must move forward, and forge a new self. I will not entirely abandon all the things that have made me who I am, instead, I will wrap those things within me while I try to solve this new mystery of my early to mid twenties. It's frightening territory. I gotta realize that what I feel and think does not necessarily reflect who I really am. I gotta let the light shine through, let my soul burn bright. I don't want to lose it and let it carelessly dissappear into fear.