"i'm just too young to belong to anyone and i'm too old to be taken"

I don't even remember what I really wanted to establish with this post, but it's along the lines of relationships. Sometimes i feel really strange being alone, I know it's not a bad thing and I actually feel extremely liberated being able to do all the things I want to do without answering to anyone. But there are days when I really miss connection, intimate spaces, long moments of silent staring into the lover's eyes and reading their soul. If you would have told me all the things I would be going through these past years when I was 15, I wouldn't have believed it. I probably would've assumed I'd never have been in love, i'm a choosey individual. It's very hard for me to find the right person, and i've had only two connections in my life. It's strange, everyone speculated we were going to get married once upon a time. what a laugh, it's funny how old women talk, it's cute because it's not 1953 anymore and girls like me usually don't marry their first love. And that's definitley not something I would have wanted anyways. On the flipside, my parents met in highschool when they were 16 and they have pretty much been together ever since then, (they were off and on a little bit, and they dated other people briefly after they broke up sometime after highschool), but they were always drawn to each other, and I can admire that. I never assumed that I was going to have the same luck, but I did the whole high school sweetheart thing too, 16 too and first times for everything. We lasted almost three years, but it just didn't work out, and after many difficult situations and drama I can now look back on the good parts and reflect on my youth and the carefree ways of being young and so in love once. I'm looking forward to the future and the upcoming adult relationships i'm going to have, it's an exciting age. It's only begining, and I feel like he was just like how a first pancake is, rough around the edges/not perfect/gooey and usually thrown in the garbage...(theoretically speaking). That griddle is mighty hot now and is just waiting for the next batch of batter to be cooking. love love love