Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What's wrong with being a nice girl?


I know that's what I am, but somehow I forget that I'm too nice and can't say no. I don't know what it is, but I give in way too easily, this eager to please kind of trait that makes me do things that end up hurting me later. Sometimes I think sex should be spontaneous and that I should just give in to it. As long as you're protected and safe, and you are physically attracted to that person, why not? And sometimes, after jumping into that quick way of thinking I realize that it could've been a mistake, because to a man, I have made myself appear like a slut, an easy nice girl who will say yes. And the chemicals that are in my brain make me like him more and more after we have slept together. Oxytocin is a curse. And then when he doesn't call and I go crazy wondering why the hell he's not, I then come to the conclusion that being physically fulfilled without some sort of commitment is not a good idea for me. sure, maybe it works for others, but it truly does not work for me. I need the knowledge that it won't be temporary, that this warm body I'm touching actually has a brain that likes me, and doesn't just like my own warm body.

1 comment:

  1. i hear you.

    i had a dream this morning that reminded me not to be so nice and it's still freaking me out.

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