pleasures.

I wanna be lost in that dark cave forever, feeling through with complete emotion unrestrained...doing what feels good, what feels right in the moment. And just be there.

i looked in the mirror.

I came home to find huge bite marks on my neck. I feel conflicted. I haven't received those since high school, and you're not a boy, you're a man.

when I saw you

i wanted to cut your hair, bathe you, and re-dress you. I wanted to take care of you like a little wounded baby bird.

escape.

this is all i want to hear. and all that pains me...beautiful words.

Once I was a lover
And I searched behind your eyes for you
And soon there'll be another
To tell you I was just a lie

And sometimes I wonder
Just for a while
Will you remember me

And though you have forgotten
All of our rubbish dreams
I find myself searching
Through the ashes of our ruins
For the days when we smiled
And the hours that ran wild
With the magic of our eyes
And the silence of our words
~Tim Buckley

there's some kind of magic in smoke

It's a somber day, dark and gray. I did a few line drawings, and laid on my bed watching the smoke of incense in my bathroom climb up the walls in a secretive dance. I don't feel empty or sad like I thought I would. I just feel okay, I think the music makes me feel so bleh, just makes me think of the bigger things, life and death and what it's for. watching the white transparency float and create a figure of some other world. thinking of people that have come and gone. those before me and after me. is it like the smoke? floating up into the sky, reeling with the air, whirling up and becoming one...i want to end up like that, endlessly floating, and gathering more and more particles...connecting to an eternal piece.

this puts me to sleep every night...

I think this is my favorite version of this beautiful Righteous Brothers song, Bradford Cox is my hero, so so talented, so much emotion coming from him here...