Nothing I can tell you, you look good when you wear it well.

I do not know my own limitations sometimes, if you push a little...I'll push a lot. If you give a little, i'll ask for more. Not my best trait at all. I don't know when to stop sometimes, but now I see it clearly, and with respect, understand when it's okay to push and when it's okay to not do anything at all. I think I'm maturing more and more, letting things just happen, and trying not to sweat the small stuff and realize that what's meant to happen will...and if it doesn't, well it doesn't matter. I'm working on getting a running routine going in the mornings when I don't have to work...I just hook up my pod and run on the ranch overlooking the pacific ocean, I really am incredibly lucky to be living where I am. I take it for granted all the time. After my little jaunt today, I drove and felt soo good, Sirius XMU was playing some great music too this morning so I was totally high on endorphins and dancing to the grooves of Cut Copy, Whitest Boy Alive, and Felix Da Housecat. I really love the person I am becoming, I feel like I have it more together, and actually have a fantastic niche of everything, ahh i can't explain all the joy I'm feeling. I had one of the best birthdays ever and it makes me realize how many amazing people I have in my life. love love love

too many gypsies, not enough soul

I had no idea that nostalgia is considered a form of mental imbalance...I just learned this today via youtube, haha. If this is true, then I guess I must be mentally ill in some way, but aren't we all? I guess that would be my greatest trigger for depression, getting stuck in time in memories, nostalgic yearnings for snap shots of my life. Moments. I think I'm getting better, yes there are times when I go back and think about days that just surpass them all, days where you think nothing will top it. But I've got to believe that there are future days that will override the ones I've already lived. This whole past/present thing is very confusing. All I know is that I'm pretty happy where I am in my life right now. Yes, there are some things I would love to change, but most of my goals are being achieved or are working their way on being met. It's friday, exactly a week until I am 22, and I'm going to be enjoying a delicious raspberry lemon drop in two hours, sipping it with some great people in my life, I can't complain... love love love

one color, muted, uncomplicated

I've been wearing lots of black lately, just all at once...black jeans, black tops, black shoes, with a brown leather belt, very simple. Dressing for myself used to be such an exciting event for me, so much fun to wear the most outlandish items - of vintage descent with crazy colors, patterns, combinations, influences, and styles. But now I'm feeling very overwhelmed and disgusted by that all. I just want basics, one color outfits, and be it not even colorful colors. Is it because I'm getting older? Why do I feel this strong urge to get rid of 98% of my wardrobe, all my treasures collected through the years, once coveted and sacred to me? I don't know what it is, but I feel no need to try and create an outfit or style that has to be something costume esque or outlandish anymore. Just very muted and simple, the only things showing any sign of energy from jewelry or headbands. Maybe it's just a phase, but each and every day i'm caring less and less on fashion... :(

excess synths gilded

All i've been really into musically is a lot of 80s dance music - and theres so much to choose from! Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark, Simple Minds, Dead or Alive... I don't know but I'm very into it all for the campiness and just the simple uncomplicated poppyness of it all...it's wonderbar... and this video = amazing... I never used to care much for Simple Minds but I'm diggin' this song a lot...

Happy Monday

Fucking awesome...

the laws of some attraction

I just finished watching "About a Son" a little film full of images and complete recordings of an interview Kurt Cobain did around '92, '93 with rock journalist Michael Azerrad. Besides being sad and unsettling, understanding the root of his troubles and sympathetic to his life, I came to the conclusion that some guys need a crazy, insane woman. When he started talking about how he had met Courtney Love, and how he made her feel, it kind of made sense. He saw himself as this weak individual who despised 99.9% of humanity, and maybe felt his own life was a bit boring. When Courtney showed up in his life, he said her insane urges and outlandish behavior brought some excitement into his life, and he liked that. I'm not going to say that I entirely know all about this relationship, but I know it wasn't a perfect relationship despite the fact that he may have been happy time to time with her. I think the drugs would've had a huge impact in the relationship as well, the ones who "inject together, stay together," i suppose until one od's or commits suicide. Anyways, I just don't get how some people crave this kind of unstable, unhealthy relationship. I suppose the excitement is a big factor, because it derives this love/hate passionate kind of thing. Something that I haven't experienced, and don't think I ever will, unless i too, meet a crazy drug fueled man who'll "build me up to just bring me down."

We bounded over Psychedelic Furs and Pixies

I have a confession to make, i used to have an Internet buddy. And no, it wasn't a Dateline To Catch a Predator Special with Chris Hansen unfortunately. I was about 13 when AIM was all the rage and chatting in chat rooms was freakin' cool. Well one of my friends got me into it, I was a little weirded out at first, but since i was in middle school and this kind of thing was 'cool,' I decided to give it a try. This is how I met my only Internet buddy i didn't ever know in real life...My aim name was "PrettyPunk" (haha), and I met "RebelAgnstAll" or also known as 'Dylan'-through a random chat room. Now, I'll never be sure that he was a 15 year old guy living in West Virginia with a penchant for good taste in music, but he seemed pretty legit to me. [God, he probably was a super lonely 30 year old guy with a beer belly,] Anyways, we started chatting, talking about punk rock and how much he loved the Psychedelic Furs and how he saw them with his dad in D.C.. He also loved the Pixies, and that's how I got hooked into that band. He recommended 'Trompe le Monde,' so I went out and bought it a few days later, and fell in love with that record. It was weird, it was the only time I ever dabbled with the idea of an 'Internet boyfriend'...I would fantasize how we would meet one day, and he'd be the coolest guy around and whatever else a young teenage girl dreams about. We would just talk about music and the things we liked, and how he would say he wished i went to school with him...I never got freaked out about anything, because it truly was innocent and i never lured him to my house with a heaping pitcher of iced tea just so Mr. Hansen could stroll on in and catch him, haha. It was just two young kids bonding over david bowie and Francis Black, and it was a really hopeful time for me, because i knew I could find someone, somewhere who shared my weird insecurities and love for music no one at my school had even heard of. Then as my middle school years ended, and computer failure happened, I just lost touch and that was pretty much the end of that. I wonder what Dylan is up to now? I will never know, but it was cool to have that one experience and I'm just glad it was legitimate and not uber scary like the things you hear on the news, just someone to bitch with and pass the agonizing years of adolescence with.